From that teeny little 4th grader who learnt to beatbox and whistle on songs
To the one who used to be so happy when with her tiny keyboard she performed
To the one who learnt the guitar, fingers bleeding in pain
At the end of the day
This was all for that tiny little girl
Who just wanted to show other people the new song she learnt on the guitar that was so much bigger than her
To that 6th grader who'd sit on the tables of her class playing random songs with her classmates cheering her along
We've come a far way since
Might have lost touch and gotten worse
But the point was to enjoy the all the way along right?
Tag: Life
A Few Changes
Hello everyone
I’m going to college in a few days.
I started this blog in grade 8th when I was OBSESSED with Harry Potter I have definitely grown out of it now (somewhat). Some things have stayed the same and a few others have changed, do visit the site to find out.
I have decided to change the blog name to ‘Faletusiican Caves’ which is a reference to my own book (someone has be its fangirl and until I find someone it’ll be me).
If you want to check it out you can find it here.
And yeah, here is to new beginnings!
I’m also coming up with a new Sudoku Blog soon (I’m a huge nerd, surprise!), so stay tuned!
Thank you so much for all of your support these past 5 years!
June
June.
The month with the strawberry moon
Quite an exciting and exhausting month this time i’d say
From starting the month by solving sudokus to ending it by building blocks
I guess all the races i watched were the only constant
Spent all of it by continuously knitting a scarf with my plans
for when i reached the end of exams
that life just kept unravelling…..
Just for me to realise i am sort of free now aren’t i?
I can infact stay up until 4am to read
And so i did
I don’t have to study all day
I don’t have to plan which chapter i’m going to study what topics to finish right down to the minute!
It just sounds exhilarating right?
Right to when the exams get over and i realise that there are so many things that i’m out of touch with
Trying to reconnect but i can’t
Before everything was planned
Now it isn’t…
Sounds free right?
But is it though??????
Terrifying to say the least
My future is in my hands completely but i’m free right?
Or am i really…??
The transition from school to college hasn’t happened yet
I’m done with school but college hasn’t started
What am i now?
Where am i now?
This time in between confuses and confounds me
Where does one end and where does the next start
June, this june
One ended with me getting my marksheet officially for school to end
And acceptances from different colleges for the next month
May marking the end
July marking the start
But i’m stuck in june or atleast i was…
Everybody moved on but im still in june
Terrifying to say the least
I want to leave june yet somehow stay here too…
Anyways that was my June wrapped up 🙂 how was yours?
Check out some of the pictorial highlights here
How was your june?
The Beauty in Science
See, what amazes me is being a science nerd and a poet
I know how stars work, yet somehow I’d rather they blink at each other in love than listen to the science
I’d rather rainbows be a pretty bridge with a pot of gold at the end than just refraction of light
I’d rather believe in the pretty purple potassium permanganate color than know it is ligand-to-metal charge transfer
But at the same time, the beauty of science is marveling because
I’d rather know the brain controls emotions than blame it on my inbuilt blood purifier
I want to know the way atoms build and create the universe, but not the theories they disproved
I want to know how light works, how it bends,
and I want to know which colors exist and how they work
And I want to know the Aurora Borealis, the physics behind it, rather than it be a magical colorful wonder.
I want to understand architecture, the beautiful bridges and buildings, how they were built, how they remain standing, instead of admiring the carvings
I want to know which metal knives and tools they used to do the carving, which metals sustained, instead of just staring at the carving
Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t about believing in science or literature.
Maybe it is both…
Life is both, isn’t it?
Those who dream invent
Those who believe create beauty and knowledge
Science and art go hand in hand, don’t they…..?
Tomorrow Never Comes
Every day you’re alive could end up being one they study forever in history, so make sure to pay attention to it.” Her father’s words, once her mantra, now echoed in her mind like a taunt.
At this point Jenna was fed up with it. “It’s just one day,” she thought, “It doesn’t matter, I have plenty of time, I can deal with things tomorrow.” She could study tomorrow, she said, she’d work on new skills tomorrow.
Now, a reigning cliff diving champion and a Harvard student, she was the epitome of success. People marvelled at her effortless grace, her intelligence, her luck, sheer luck to them. People believed her talent came naturally, but that wasn’t true. Jenna had worked hard, but praise and tabloids made even her believe it was effortless. After years of fixating on how she worked hard, she believed them now, maybe “I don’t need to work hard she thought, it’s all natural isn’t it?” she thought. She stopped working for it, she began procrastinating; and went from “I’ll wake up at 4 am to finish my tasks and train” to “I’ll do it tomorrow, one day doesn’t matter.” The pressure to maintain perfection had become a suffocating weight. Her once-ironclad work ethic had rusted, replaced by a dangerous reliance on impulse and instant gratification.
This continued, she was at an all-time low, she never realised how hard she worked. She used to be fed up with people because she did, she worked hard, she now believed these people. Her grades slipped and now she wasn’t that academically gifted kid anymore but a failure, “at least I still have diving,” she thought. Though she didn’t train as much for it. She stopped taking it seriously, she had been crowned world champion four times, and the dangerous dives off of cliffs?
She began to make them carelessly.
She lost her fear for them, and it was not something to not be afraid of, she underestimated them.
And then disaster struck.
She carelessly dived one day then all of a sudden she realised two horrifying things: the water was cold but in a different, cruel manner this time, what felt like a safe haven each time now hurt her, and that she could not push her body to come up, she was drowning.
She was hurt and that too pretty bad, yet something lured her to swim deeper and not just pain and shock, she heard something and whatever it was she had to find it, she had full faith that she had heard a voice, it kept cajoling her towards it, she felt an electric rush pass through her.
There was a voice singing to her like the mythical siren, coaxing her to come nearer, to let everything go away, it was what kept her down and under the water, the pain didn’t, had she swam out at that time she would’ve been fine, wouldn’t have succumbed to the water pressure and her injuries but there was that voice, that whispery melodious song ringing in her ears, reminding her of the fun and the worthless pleasures of life. Of an alternate reality where life was effortless and of the greed to earn things without actually working for them, but when she was entranced enough, she felt the electric jolt again. Except now it reminded her of her mistakes, the sweet voice turned into a haunting and mocking one reminding her of what she had now lost in this greed, the daydream of hers wasn’t real, it never would be and that was when she knew she messed up.
And then she woke up, regained her consciousness and she was in the hospital, except now everything was different, her parents were there, eyes filled with worry and disappointment and pain, so much pain. Her coach was there as well, trying to analyse something asking her what went wrong, why didn’t she swim up when she knew she could.
She knew she should have swam when she had the chance too. Had she kept up with her training, the fall wouldn’t have impacted her in any way, but now she couldn’t even look at the people in her room without feeling the guilt.
How they were all in pain because of her, they thought it was an accident, deep down she knew it wasn’t and at some level they knew it was one which could’ve been avoided too had she not procrastinated. The greed to postpone things to tomorrow and that alternate reality she dreamed of wasn’t real, those practices she missed and stalled till tomorrow were exactly what she needed. She was so out of touch with her body that that dive completely ruined her spine.
Her fall fractured her skull as well and now she was facing the consequences of her actions. She couldn’t walk again, she couldn’t even speak again.
She lost it all because she delayed things and postponed it to tomorrow.
Had she not waited for tomorrow to come to work on her swimming and training, had she not missed those physics lessons in college and actually paid attention to how the water and pressure works she wouldn’t have lost everything in her life.
She never realised the importance of each day; she used to internally laugh when her father tried to remind her of it and this day; the one when she didn’t pay attention to the life threatening activity she performed, when she underestimated it, did indeed go down in history.
Once a celebrated athlete she was now reduced to a precautionary tale.
All this time, “Tomorrow” she said, not this time though, there was no tomorrow….
Wrote this sometime back for a competition took a lot of influences from real life, but yeah life goes on, things happen…
Haven’t posted for a while with so many things going on, but finally college soon!
I’m thinking of making a new Sudoku puzzle site because I’m a nerd with weird obsessions, stay tuned!!
Anyways how have you all been, what are you currently reading? Do let me know 🙂
A bunch of things left unsaid
You can’t patch up a cloth over a hundred times
It wont retain its style
You could say it feels more homely know after one or two times
Worn in and comfortable
Just like home
But darling you can only patch it a few times
In the end it becomes a rag
Used and torn apart
Redundant to say the least
Utterly destroyed by those mordacious clashes
I know that only love can hurt like this
And you know it too
So why’d you have to hit me where it hurts the most
Because there’s a limit to how much you can fix
And even you with your smarts and intelligence quirks you teased me about
Can’t fix it all
And change it back to the way it was
There’s no magic for us
Just reality
That now we are apart
And you’re happy now
Because you’re free
Free from me…..
There is an specific amount of times you can salvage a friendship, try to fit in or be pushy about it, but then you just reach an extent and then there comes jealousy. The jealousy which quite wisely put never has an expiration date, but one day you grow out of it just unexpectedly out of the blue you forget that a person exists and you move on and the joy that comes with it is the best.
There are no words to describe it you just stop caring kill off the character in your story and move on to a new chapter with different people different scenes and lesser but more valuable characters. In the end so many things are best left unsaid..
This past year had sooo many ups and downs and honestly there is so much I can say but then again it’s special yet not and some secrets are best when there is a mystery.
In the end both sides feel relieved when we loose someone because it’s for the best.
Anyyywayssss I’m backkk
Boards are over and I’m elated I’ll try to post more often now :)))
World Suicide Prevention Day
Feeding on darkness Such a delight My hunger is finally being sufficed and fulfilled What a joy it is to live in this century With humans who care A bit too much And then none at all Oh this society Doesn't think at all These demeaning taunts How I feed on them all Such joy to exist Ebullience rushing in my veins I think of a time when humans used their brains Such an abomination was it when they didn't kill themselves with strawberry flavored vape I'm elated to live now And forever prevail~Suicide’s musings
Thought I’d do something different and write the musings of suicide as a character living in our era.
Each year on 10th September Suicide prevention day is marked to help people and spread awareness on why mental health is important and how drugs and suicide are not the way to combat life and problems.
With each day suicide is a growing issue impacting millions in the world. Least we could do is recognize the symptoms before a person commits it and help prevent it…..
Confused is the man who takes a break
Yet is unafraid
The man might be confused
At least he isn’t dull
Temporary solutions exist
Don’t force yourself to choose the one
In which you won’t exist…….
~Aanya
An Orsa of Equality #2
“She overcame everything that was meant to destroy her and that in itself was enough to bring a change……..”
And thus we begin again (pun intended if you got it, ik one of you will), today I’ll rant on about Double Standards in our society, since there are soo many of them that I found out, I’ll make a few parts of this cause I have over 15 of these so maybe 3 in each post?
Cause otherwise it’ll be too long and I kinda need content too so uh yeah😅 (We all will ignore the fact that I am VERY lazy)
Letttsssssgoooooooooooooo
“When a woman cries, it’s viewed as normal. When a man cries, he’s told to man up”
Throughout the world, crying is a symbol of the weak, when in reality it makes you stronger once you accept that you have feelings and suffer trauma. It’s generally said that whenever a person starts crying that person is acting like a girl because the society associates feelings and emotions to women and shows men as feelingless which is said that that shows them as stronger. Men are told not to cry because they are depicted as the stronger gender and crying is for the weak. In reality though, this world would be a better place if we let both genders express their emotions because that is a symbol of strength and accepting life at it’s best.
“A man does something it’s strategic, a woman does the same thing, it’s calculated; a man is allowed to react where a woman can only over-react”-Taylor Swift
The society has a different vocabulary for the same things both the genders do, but a match harsher one for women. They criticize those women who go against the patriarchy and question them for a change; and oftentimes in India they even comment, ‘ladki haath sei nikal gayi’ (she is out of your hands) like hell yeah, you are no one to control her! She saw how you were squashing her and she got rid of you, that’s powerful. Or maybe just those women who wish to bring the same change as men, and that’s where the criticism begins. It’s calculated in the sense that she has an evil plan when she is only doing the same thing a man did with a proper plan but has to face backlash for it.
Same is when women are called drama queens jokingly and are always said that they overreact because them ‘reacting’ is always too much as their opinions aren’t valued the way the men’s are.
“When a man says no, it’s the end of a conversation,
When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation“
I mean do I even need to explain that?
That’s truth in itself if we paid more attention to our normal everyday conversations which we overlook.
And men are always taken more seriously which is absolutely unfair and just impractical and just infuriating okay, I’ve freaking noticed this in real life a lot times too, IT’S NOT FAIR.
And yeah, that’s it for today, have you ever felt any of these in your daily life?
PS I have more posts on this coming soon!
I am a star
I’m a star
I am burning, I am writhing and a part of me is dying, the innocent one, the little kid.
I’m powerful, and my light shines even after years.
I’m a star.
I am integral for life, and under my light you all hide.
No I’m not big, but that just means I’ll shine longer. Yet I’m not small, nor is my shine or my glow, you aren’t close enough to see me shine and you never will be.
I’m a star.
I’m so far away you’ll never reach me, you’ll never know me well enough.
I’m a star.
I am not pretty because I’m raging and burning, and I AM ON FIRE.
I’m not meant to be pretty but I do so in your eyes, for that beauty, a sign of my strength and sedulous work.
You’ll study me like the mysterious fireball that I am aeons later.
You see my past and reflect on it, dreaming about my present and my future, a pity you won’t see it, you say. You won’t be there.
I am a star.
FIlled with hydrogen, my words can make you dizzy and lose control.
I am a star.
I’m filled with helium and you know, I’m deathly.
I am a star
What you see is a flicker of what I was, a twinkling past.
I am a star.
I look beautiful to you, even in my darkest times, and my presence, a relief.
For I am a star.
For I am a star.
A twinkling, burning, dying star but I’ll live longer than you.
I’m the same as many other stars, just different in size, yet so different, but that’s something you’ll never realise.
I am a star.
You’re seeing and admiring my past, because my present you’ll never see, you won’t be worthy of seeing it.
I am a star
To those who think stars, not lovely, well they aren’t meant to. Because they have the power to burn you.
I am a star.
My past and my shine can light up a dark night.
I am a star.
I’m burning, and it’ll take me a second to destroy you.
I am a star.
And a single star like me, can turn your world upside down.
And then into nothing.
I.
Am.
A.
Star.
Hey guys!
MERRYYY CHRISTMASSSSS!!!!!!!!🎄❄🎅🏻
How are you all?
It’s been so long, since I’ve been active here. So recently in my last poem, I talked about me being a star and many people asked me how and here is how.
SOOOO
Just some random things I mentioned that have facts behind them-
- A pretty basic one but obviously starlight reaches us after years so we see the past, even the light of sun is from the past.
- The larger the stars are the shorter they live so tinier stars shine longer.
- Obviously stars are pretty far away, you can’t reach them, just like some people, you want to get to know them, but they are so far away from you even when you talk to them everyday.
- And stars are on fire so yeah.
- All stars are made of hydrogen and helium so basically they have the same composition, yet every star is different in it’s own way (atleast to me).
- Hydrogen gas makes us dizzy and helium is a deathly gas.
- Stars obviously don’t twinkle.
- Stars have a longer lifespan then the entire existence of human race.
Somehow I feel this post is wayy too sciency now😂. (I would make one of my friends so proud with such facts😂)
Anyways once again I wish you all a Merry Christmas!!
(BTW one of my close friends opened a youtube channel some time back and he would really love some support, do check it out, it’s a great one. ).
What if
“What if we all are just mere stories in a dreamers head, what if life is one in our own head, what if you are just a villain in my story, my dream, a nightmare I hope I don’t recount again.”
-Aanya
Illusions, dreams, nightmares, hallucinations. What if in reality that’s all our life is? Or what if maybe, we dreamt it all up and woke up to find none of it is real.
What if you were never really my friend, just a villain in my story. What if you hadn’t been my friend all along, what if you don’t exist and I had dreamt you up.
What if me annoying you was your nightmare and it didn’t happen, what if I was so lost in my dreams I thought you responded but you didn’t.
What if you dreamt me up, or about me, and then forgot it wasn’t in real life. What if you imagined me something I wasn’t just for the sake of your sanity.
What if you didn’t exist and I imagined it all up, all of you, all of everything and I am indeed insane in another world of reality.
Nothing is real in this world except me, or is everything real except me. What if this universe is paradoxical and I belong to a parallel one, what if one day you all turn against me, different creatures and I am the only one left, and such so in another universe, where people like me turned against one of you.
What if you all are coded to tell me you’re real and yet fill the same confusion in my mind thinking we’re the same but we’re not.
What if you want me deluded, to turn me into something I’m not, or maybe just to throw me out of your way.
Maybe you didn’t mean to hate me, maybe you were taught too. Maybe I should forgive you cause you were never really who you were, or maybe cause you didn’t exist, like now you don’t, atleast not for me.
What if all we see in this world is just our worst nightmares mixed with reality, or perhaps the good in our dreams mixed with the brutality of this world.
The world is just an illusive vision, or maybe we are unwritten characters in a writer’s mind. Maybe we are characters in a book and people are reading us like we read or maybe people are watching us in a movie hall eating popcorn, without a care in the world, with kids screaming about everywhere.
What if there is a larger and greater species than us, and to them we are just as tiny as atoms and exist like the amoeba, unseen yet studied upon by the curious.
And at the end what if nothing is real but I am, all alone in this universe just a single soul, with no assurity so as to what life is……..
The Faletusiican Caves 